I May Be Unemployed but I’m Feeling Empowered

Sorry for the lack of posts in the past week… I’ve been busy tying us loose ends at my own old job.

Last time I blogged I had just quit my job and I had a week of writing 16 page reports. What I have learnt is that 16 page reports are completely pointless and can easily break you.

Wednesday was particularly challenging as I woke to the news that one of our rabbits had escaped and eaten the TV wire AND the WiFi wire which is ideal when you’re trying to work from home!

That did push me over the edge on Wednesday and I spent most of the day crying. Chronic stress can truly rob you of any coping skills eh.

Friday came and I finished my work and switched my computer off for what I thought was the last time. Unfortunately my boss got caught up in stuff and I now have to do my handover on Monday (no doubt unpaid).

However, the relief I felt at 5pm was indescribable. It wasn’t just a ‘I quit my job’ sensation but definitely ‘I just quit my career’ and I truly could feel 6 years worth of tension beginning to unravel. Which is good on one hand, but not good if you have epilepsy. The imagery in my head of the tension leaving my shoulders really reminded me of when the Beast becomes the Prince again in Beauty and the Beast. Very Disney esque.

This weekend I have been trying to control my anxiety. Waiting to see if I have a seizure but also relieved I’m no longer an OT. Tim’s parents are here and I would really like to not ruin their weekend by having a seizure.

Tim meanwhile, has been an absolute angel. His love for me must be unquantifiable because I must have been a nightmare to live with and he’s just been so protective.

I’m nowhere near better yet but I’m definitely improving. My sleep has DOUBLED and according to my Fitbit, my awake time is the least it’s ever been. Definitely letting my poor brain rest.

I have also decided two further things in my quest to have a lifestyle overhaul.

1) I’m going to take up yoga – the tension in my body currently means I can’t even touch my toes and my right hamstring is the the tightest thing EVER. I feel sore every time I move and I’m only 31. I’m pretty sure it’s just tension based and I think I could really get into yoga.

2) This decision has not been made lightly. I recently posted on Instagram how I’m not a fan of water. This is partly due to associating it with indigestion and tummy issues as I had a hiatus hernia growing up. Secondly, it’s just got a really metallic taste to me which isn’t pleasant. Thirdly, I need to drink with liquids that have another dimension (bubbles or a thick milkshake) – definitely sensory related.

However, I’ve been reading up on Cola and I hadn’t realised that much about the impact of the acid – I feel so much emphasis is placed on the sugar or sweetener content but I definitely feel the acid has impacted on me the most. Starting Monday I am going to start reducing my Cola consumption. This will not only impact my sweetener intake but also my caffeine intake so I’m very excited about the impending headaches…. however, with all the plastic in the sea, I feel like I need to get my habit in control to reduce my plastic waste and and I can also take care of myself. If I’m honest, my love for Cola hasn’t been as strong for a while, so now is definitely a good time!

3) I’m already half way through my first module for my Advanced Diploma in Nutrition and a Weight Management and it’s only been a week. I’m hoping I might be able to start my case study in a week’s time (I’ll be doing it as well as my mother). I’ll be regularly blogging and instagramming about how it goes as obviously it will be the same formulae I’ll be using for my clients in the future and I need to see if it works!

With all this stress knocking around it’s definitely impacted on my weight and I can’t wait to get back in control of everything.

I still have about 20lbs to go (at least) and it will be an 8 week programme. I can’t tell you how excited I am about it!

Today we off are to take Tim’s parents sightseeing in Edinburgh (although the sky is looking a bit grey). I’d love to chill and lie in bed but that will have to wait til Tuesday.

For now, have a good Sunday and I’ll catch up with you guys in a few days!

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